Money is one of the most important topics and at the same time the biggest taboo topic of our time. In order to have a good and clearer relationship with money, we have to deal with the psychology of money, says psychotherapist Dr. Wolfgang Krüger, especially with the attitudes towards money that shaped us in our childhood. Diplomatisches Magazin spoke to him about the psychology of money.
DM: It is rather unusual for psychologists to deal with the topic of money. You give seminars and have written a book on the subject. Why?
Dr Krüger: First of all, money is extremely important for our mood in life, for our feeling of security. Money worries quickly lead to fears and – if broad sections of the population are affected – are very dangerous socio-politically. We have to take these fears seriously, they are understandable. And they are often triggered very quickly. That is why inflation often upsets us more than the Ukraine war. Because our emotions are often very irrational when it comes to money. This is also due to the fact that money is the biggest taboo subject of our time. We don't talk openly about money. We complain about the tax burden and talk about rising prices, but we don't talk to others about our income and wealth. Therefore, we may not simply ask a colleague how much wealth he or she has. And we ourselves often do not reflect on the importance of money for us. How important is it for us that we can buy ourselves many things? Would we be able to save considerably more? How much money do we need as a reserve to have peace of mind? Do we feel we are using money wisely?
DM: What does the term “financial illiterates” that you occasionally use mean?
Dr Krüger: Already in school we are taught far too little about money. We learn foreign languages, we can read Ovid in the original and do a poetry analysis, but we have far too little idea about how to handle money well. Every second German therefore considers himself financially illiterate. Therefore, it would be fundamentally important and sensible for us to acquire more knowledge about how to handle money. But I am of the opinion that this will only begin to solve our money problems, because I have had a disturbing experience in recent years. More than 70% of Germans are interested in money investments from time to time. But only 28% were convinced that they had a sensible attitude towards money. This means: being satisfied with one’s own consumption behaviour in the long term, using money to realise one's central life dreams and being well secured for old age and emergencies. But here many people realise that abstract knowledge hardly helps them to solve money and life problems well. After all, the key to understanding our money behaviour lies in our emotions. Whether we spend a lot of money or save it, whether we care about money or even overestimate money, essentially depends on our feelings.
DM: Our attitude towards money, you say, has to do with imprints from our childhood. Can you illustrate this with some examples?
Dr Krüger: Our attitude towards money is always related to our childhood, to our family experiences. We all have fundamental experiences that have shaped us. For example, if we grow up in a family of savers, savings are everywhere. It’s a way of life where you don’t just cut back on spending money. Rather, one often saves even in words, in appreciation, even in love. Our attitude towards money is always deeply connected to our personality and this inevitably creates a family mood that strongly influences us. This is also very evident when money serves as a substitute for relationships. In such cases, the child is rarely praised, receives little attention, but gets good pocket money. In other families, money is misused as a means of power. What I eat is what I sing – as the Middle Ages used to say. And even today in some families there is the threat: As long as you put your legs under my table … But it is also tragic when there is constant poverty in a family. This often leads to fundamental feelings of shame in the children, which they can hardly overcome for the rest of their lives.
DM: What does a healthy relationship with money look like?
Dr Krüger: We have a good attitude towards money when we establish a friendly, respectful relationship with money in a lively and heartfelt way. Then we are interested in money, we basically have a positive relationship with it and that is a decisive factor for financial success. Only when we approach money positively will money increase. But money should never be the most important thing in life and serve to compensate for our mental and social deficits. One’s own self-respect, happiness in life, passion in love and good friendships are always more important than money. In this respect, money should only be the fuel, the power to realise our significant goals. But a millionaire told me that it was easier for him to become rich than to understand his wife. So, like Scrooge, money can easily become too important in life. And this shows: Ultimately, we should find our focus in life and think about our happiness in life so that we can assign money the right position in our lives.
More on this topic in the publication glücklich REICH SEIN by Dr. Wolfgang Krüger, published by BoD (Books on Demand)